The Auto Equation

Over my entire stay in Bangalore, I have been trying my level best to crack the mystery behind the Auto fares out here. The meters run faster than the speed of light. The fares end up in rates twice or thrice the meter. And sometimes the meter concept never exists and then the fares are multiples of ten.

Before I start, this is just a reminder that it is applicable only for the city of Bangalore.
And this document will help all the people who take the Auto for transport in Bangalore.

Let ‘x’ be the fare that the meter says, then the final fare ‘F’ that you pay is given by

F = M [{(a + w) x + m + l + d – r} + R]

Where
a is the time correction factor whose value can be 1 or 2 or 3 depending on the time.
If t is time in hours, then

a = 1, if t >=0900 and t<1900
= 2, if t>=1900 and t<2100>=0700 and t<0900
= 3, if t>=2100 and t<=2359 or t>=0000 and t<0700

w is the weather correction factor which is 0 or 1 depending on the climate.
w = 0, if the sky is clear.
=1, if it is raining.

m is the first mood factor. Its value depends on location of the destination point with respect to its nearest major road. Value of m is normally 10 or 20.
For example, Garuda mall is about 200 meters away from the MG road. So you may be charged an extra 10 INR.
On a contrary, the Innovative multiplex is about 500 meters from Marthahalli junction. But again it is located on the outer ring road, a major road. Whatsoever, a bit away from the Marthahalli junction you are charged extra 20 INR. As you can see clearly it’s not the distance that determines this variable, it is the mood of the driver.

l is the special variable called the load factor.
Its value is determined by the driver’s intuition and the experience.
For example, you carry a 21 inch TV in its box you may be charged ‘P’ INR.
But if you carry the same box without the TV in it you will still be charged ‘P’ INR.
The assumption here is that the weight is directly proportional to the volume and the density of all the matter in the universe is a constant.

d is called the directional constant. This is again determined by the driver.
This functions more like the charge taken at the toll gate.
If you choose to travel one way then the value of d is ‘Y’ INR.
Else if you choose both forward and return journey then the value will be ‘N’ INR where N<2Y.

r is the rebate constant.
Yes you do get rebates.
It is a function of mutual argumentative powers and varies from person to person.

R is the rounding factor. This is used to round up (it is always rounded up) to the nearest multiple of 10.

M is the most crucial one and is called the second mood correction factor.
Its value is either 1 or ∞.
1 refers to the fact that driver is interested to go in the direction that you want.
∞ refers to the fact that the driver won’t come whatever be the amount you pay.

The Penguin’s Laws

Over the ages the world has added enough crappy laws.
Every person adds his own laws to the databank of the world.

So I decided to add few of my own laws.
Here are my laws.

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Penguin’s First Law: The Law of Uniform Expenditure

The expenditure of a person on his girlfriend is a “dynamic” constant.

(Dynamic refers to the fact that it varies from person to person)
Proof:
Now say your girlfriend is abroad.
You will try to call her up once a week. And spend ‘X’.
Say she moves to your nation but is in another state.
You will still call her, maybe once or twice a day and still spend ‘X’.
Now say she is in the same state but in another town/city.
You will still call her, but every second hour and still end up spending ‘X’.
Now let’s say she is in the same city as yours.
This time you will not call her. Instead all the ‘X’ will be spent on the petrol.

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Penguin’s Second Law: The Law of Universal Pain

The pain in the entire universe is a constant.

Proof:
Let’s take a customer of a bank.
To make his life easy, the bankers will have to experience a lot of pain and struggle a lot.
To make the banker’s life simpler, the software providers of bank have to put the fight.
Now the make their life simpler, the database side has to take the pain.
People use search engines over the web.
So the web has to be simplified and so has to be the search engines.
And this goes on.

So basically to makes the life of one person simple, the life of many others become complicated. The complexity and pain shifts from one person to other.